Monday, April 30, 2007

Here comes the sun...




A picture is worth a thousand words...

Scenes from the Peoples' Park of Nanning








Sunday, April 29, 2007

Putting the pieces together

One of the first things I noticed about Cate was that she has been exposed to very little. On the first day we gave her a crayon and had to show her how to use it. She is quick but has limited experience. I gave her a puzzle with three bears on it. Each bear is a little puzzle of three pieces, the head, torso and feet. She had no idea how to begin to solve it. She has obviously never seen one before. She is determined, though, and works on each day, trying to make the pieces fit.

Yesterday I realized that I also have been working a puzzle--one that I have no experience with, that I didn't know how to begin to solve. The key to my puzzle is language. Finally, through a mixture of my very limited Chinese, mime, and Cate's emerging understanding of English, the pieces have begun to fall into place.

These are the things I now know about Cate:

* She, like her Uncle Eric, prefers the floor to a bed (this has caused a lot of nighttime distress).
* She loves to go outside. Her foster family used this method to soothe her when she was upset. Every day she walks over to me and hands me a random piece of clothing. I could not figure it out. Now I know that she was wanting me to go outside. It has been raining almost non-stop since we got here, so we have not gone out much.
* She likes yogurt, rice, noodles, cereal, and watermelon. She hates vegetables.
* She loves to tease and play if you can just get her started.

Each day one more piece falls into place. Last night she was so happy. She was running around the room playing with Grace. I thought- finally some relief. Grace is so happy when Cate is happy. Today will be sunshine. We are going to the park for a long time!

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Meltdowns and miracle cures



My sweet little Cate has realized the truth. She has been taken away from the only home she has ever known and been given to foreigners. She is grieving. She sulks, cries, and will sometimes refuse to eat. I have had to carry her constantly. We have been going to fun places to play, and she just sits. We went to Walmart (they really are everywhere) and I asked Michael to tell her she could have any toy she wanted. She said, "I don't want it." In the hotel room she takes my hand and goes to the door and asks for her foster mom. It is really heart-wrenching.

Luckily, help arrived with Grammy's suitcase. Yes, after four days it finally arrived. Inside was the miracle cure of Grace's adoption - Cheerios! I don't know what they put in that stuff, but it acts like baby Prozac. She eats it and just grins. I am hoping desperately we have turned a corner, but only time will tell.

Grace, however, is rising to the challenge. She is really trying hard to to share her mommy. It has been very difficult, and I am so proud of her!

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Tears, giggles and long noodles




Thursday was our day to visit and be interviewed by Nanning officials. Cate awoke a little disoriented and sad but was quickly brought around by a hearty breakfast. Like my Aunt Priscilla, the way to her heart is a good meal. I'm glad she likes to eat because she is a skinny little thing and the 3T clothes we brought are sliding off her.

We then went off to be interviewed with our CCAI guide - wonderful "Uncle Michael". A nanny from the orphanage was there, and Cate saw her and began crying hysterically for her foster mother. Michael later found out that Cate was taken from her foster home on Monday and had spent two days with the nanny and began bonding with her. Only to have another disruption on Gotcha Day. Considering this, we are fortunate she is doing as well as she is.

The first official kept me a long time asking many questions. Since her English was only so-so, it was hard to understand what she was really asking. In the end it was clear she was concerned about how I would manage two girls as a single parent. Michael told me later that he thought she wanted to know if I knew how hard parenting two girls would be. If she had seen me walking down the street the previous day she wouldn't have had to ask. The second official treated the whole thing like a mere formality, and we were all done.

Cate was still carrying around her "security blanket," a bag of candy and food from her foster mom. Grace was anxious to try the pool, so we started to change into our swimsuits. Cate did not want to change clothes. She was still in the same clothes from Gotcha Day and cried if we tried to take them off. So I brought her swimsuit and we went to the pool. As soon as she saw the water the giggles began and she started stripping. Grammy, whose swimsuit is still in the lost luggage, waded into the baby pool, and we all had a great time.

After lunch we had a nap, and Grace awoke screaming with a bad dream. Cate rubbed her shoulder and tried to comfort her - it was so sweet. We then took the stroller for a disastrous walk in the park. Two young men approached us and introduced themselves and explained to us that they were the new face of Chinese rap music. Of course, being American, we must be interested in rap music. They performed a little number for us and we were complimentary. Then they attempted to help us with the stroller up some steps. Both girls erupted in screams - not big rap fans- and refused to stop for a good ten minutes. That really scared them off.

We ended the day by going to a "real" Chinese restaurant Michael had recommended located in the hotel basement. Mother, Grace and I suffered a little culture shock not knowing what to do with the bowls and how to order. Cate on the other hand was completely at ease. She slurped down tremendously long noodles with style and looked at us as if to say "I'm Chinese and YOU'RE NOT!"

All in all a huge step forward.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

The Gotcha Day Blues

Although I had prepared myself and Grace for the trauma of Gotcha Day, nothing can compare with the emotions. Cate was brought to us smiling and beautiful. In a matter of minutes she was hysterical. The guide and the nannies kept telling her, "This is your mama, this is your sister, this is your grandmother." She said "No, they are not!" and screamed. Grace became hysterical asking, "What's wrong with my little sister?" She, too, became inconsolable. I was walking down the street in Nanning carrying two heavy girls who were sobbing. Later at the hotel they calmed down and played. Cate allowed Grace to rub her shoulder, which comforted Grace. Cate even began to smile and allow me to hug and touch her. At one point, Cate pointed at Grace and said "Jie Jie" (big sister). But when bed time came the tears began again. She refused to sleep near us so I made her a pallet on the floor. She lay down holding tight the bag of snacks her foster mother sent and cried herself to sleep. It is 2:00 am and she has awoken crying twice. I am hoping for a better day tomorrow, otherwise I may be the one sobbing.

Grace Reconnects with China



WOW! What an amazing day. We visited four Beijing attractions: The Jade Factory, The Great Wall, a handmade enamel studio, and the Ming Tombs. I woke up this morning with a little girl who was more interested in learning Spanish than Mandarin and returned home hearing "Mom, I'm Chinese NOT you." It is hard to describe the wonder that appeared in her eyes as the day unfolded. In the end she walked hand in hand with our guide, Jill, and said "I was born in China too," grinning from ear to ear.

Upgrade and Downs!

Our trip started out with a pleasant surprise. Upon arriving in Washington, the United agents told us that we were being upgraded to Economy plus (much more leg room), and they were putting us on a row with an empty extra seat. Grace was able to lie down to sleep, which was really nice.

When we got to Beijing we found out one of our bags (mother's) had been mistagged and sent to Texas. Our Beijing guide took Mother out to shop for a change of clothes and essentials. She is now nicely clad in a Mandarin silk-like jacket and pants. Unfortunately she bought white which is the Chinese color for mourning. The Chinese people we meet think she is on her way to a funeral. United notified us on Tuesday that they have no idea when her bag will be delivered.

Our hotel was full, so they upgraded us to a business suite. It is very nice with a beautiful view of the city.

All in all our trip was a mixed bag. The upgrades were nice but the lost bag weighs heavily on our minds.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Travel plan

4/22 Leave the U.S. for Beijing.

4/23 Arrive in Beijing. Novotel Peace Hotel.

4/24 Beijing tour

4/25 Leave Beijing for Nanning Wharton International Hotel.
GOTCHA DAY!!!!!!!!! Cate will be brought to us in the afternoon

4/26 Complete your Adoption Registration, Adoption Notarization and apply for your child’s passport in the morning.

4/27 An optional shopping trip to a local department store in the morning.

4/28-29 Optional half-day city tours are available. Waiting for your child’s adoption paperwork to be completed.

4/30 Receive your child’s registration certificate, notarized adoption documents and passport today.

5/1 Leave Nanning for Guangzhou White Swan Hotel

5/2 Have your child’s visa physical and visa photo taken today.

5/3-5/5 Free time. Rest, shop, tour.

5/6 Meet with Grace to prepare paperwork for the Consulate appointment:

5/7 Today is your Consulate appointment.

5/8 Go to the U.S. Consulate to take the oath in the afternoon. Receive your child’s visa packet at the conclusion of the oath ceremony.

5/9 Leave Guangzhou for Beijing
WE'RE HOME!

Thursday, April 5, 2007

Happy Birthday Cate!


Today is bittersweet as we celebrate Cate's third birthday without her. I sent a birthday package to her with Little Debbie cakes, a "3" candle, some small presents and a birthday card. I made the card. It says "Happy Birthday Qing He".